Defense, where?

So I played a little pick-up hockey tonight, an endeavor which is completely and totally void of any defensive play whatsoever...  It has taken me years to come to grips with that fact.  Oh the hours I have spent wondering;  "Where the hell are my defenseman?" or "Seriously, another two on zero?"  

It has been a slow process, getting to that point, getting to a place where I can finally say to myself that I should use those hour and a half sessions to work on things that I know are wrong with my game.  Little things that slip rather quickly when you have no one to push yourself but, well, yourself.  Like my footwork.  Lately, I have felt discombobulated, that somehow my limbs are working independent of my brain, which, well, has been a problem.  I've been getting myself crossed up when faced with breakaways, which up until recently, I always had little trouble stopping.  Like I said though, lately it's been my footwork which has been the problem, and more than likely has lead to my issues with breakaways.

So tonight, that's what I did, focused on getting my feet right, focused on not cheating (as in leaning toward the pass option on a two on one), and just plain tried to stay focused.  There is a lot to think about out there on the ice, and even more to think about off of it.  I try to take that time out there, on the ice, and forget about all of the other bullshit that life tends to hand you.  Hockey, out on the ice, that's my time, that's my peace and quite.  Sure some nights go straight down the shitter, some nights I can't stop a beach ball.  It's the nights that the other team can't get a pea be me that keep me coming back for more.

So tomorrow is another night, another league game, another chance to be better than I was the last time out.